People say hurtful things. That is a lesson quickly learned by someone who is grieving. Words from a friend or acquaintance intended to comfort you end up coming across as insensitive or inappropriate. People do hurtful things. Despite the desire to be helpful, certain acts of service can end up harming a grieving person more [...]
Archive for the ‘How To Help’ Category
Extending Grace During Grief
Posted in Comforting the Grieving, How To Help, The Early Days, The Grief Process, tagged comforting a mother who has lost a child, comforting those who grieve, coping with grief, death of a child, death of a son, effect of time on grief, grace for those who hurt us, grief, how to help a grieving family, Jacob Nyenhuis, loss of a child on March 3, 2010 | 9 Comments »
Stop Playing the Blame Game
Posted in Hope, How To Help, Life After Death, Love, The Grief Process, tagged bitterness, blaming others, coping with grief, dealing with injustice, grief, healing and grief, journey, Life After Death, the blame game on February 24, 2010 | Leave a Comment »
One of the quickest and easiest ways to turn my grief into something that is unhealthy and destructive is to play the blame game. When I point a finger at someone else whom I consider responsible for my grief, I attempt to justify my anger and behavior toward that person and absolve myself. This kind [...]
Unpredictable Emotions
Posted in Comforting the Grieving, death of a son, Hope, How To Help, The Early Days, The Grief Process, Uncategorized, tagged comforting a mother who has lost a child, comforting those who grieve, console the grieving, coping with death, coping with grief, death of a child, death of a son, effect of time on grief, emotions of grief, grief, heaven, hope for the future, how to comfort those who grieve, how to console the grief-stricken, how to help a grieving family, how to help when a child has died, Jacob Nyenhuis, loss of a child, Sandy Nyenhuis, son's death on January 29, 2010 | 4 Comments »
This post comes from a blog I wrote over a year ago: Yesterday, I spoke with my friend yesterday who had lost her nephew only hours earlier. She repeated a comment her brother (the father of the young man who died) had made to her earlier that day. She said, “I’m having a strong moment [...]
Are We Really Helping The People Of Haiti?
Posted in Comforting the Grieving, Hope, How To Help, Uncategorized, tagged Charity helping Haiti, comfort, console the grieving, coping with death, coping with grief, death of a child, Haiti, MAP International, medical relief for Haiti, Relief for Haiti on January 17, 2010 | 12 Comments »
A front-page story in our local newspaper yesterday focused on a couple in our community who felt led to help the people of Haiti. Beautiful hearts. Good intentions. The problem? In the end, it might only cause more chaos and frustration for those who are on the ground in Haiti. This well-intentioned couple was filling [...]
How To Help ~ A Few More Thoughts
Posted in Comforting the Grieving, Dreams and Visions, How To Help, The Early Days, tagged comfort, comforting a mother who has lost a child, comforting those who grieve, coping with death, coping with grief, death of a child, death of a son, dreams, how to comfort those who grieve, how to help a grieving family, how to help when a child has died, Jacob Nyenhuis, loss of a child, visions on January 5, 2010 | Leave a Comment »
If you are a close friend to the family who has experienced a loss, you might want to offer to spend the night in their home. We weren’t home the first night since we went to the hospital where Jacob had been taken, but my friend, Kim, stayed at our house. She answered the phone [...]
Helpful Things To Do For Someone Who Has Lost A Child
Posted in Comforting the Grieving, death of a son, How To Help, The Early Days, tagged comforting a mother who has lost a child, comforting those who grieve, console the grieving, death of a child, death of a son, grief, how to comfort a mother, how to comfort those who grieve, how to help a grieving family, how to help when a child has died, Jacob Nyenhuis, loss of a child, memorial website, Michael Warren, Sandy Nyenhuis, Sandy Nyenhuis blog on January 2, 2010 | 1 Comment »
Our community has lost another young adult who was, and always will be, a bright and shining star. People in our community, like in most communities, are desperate to know how to help the grieving family. I will share the ways in which our family was helped. What helped and comforted us might not work [...]
Our First Christmas Without Jacob
Posted in Grieving During the Holidays, How To Help, tagged Christmas and grief, death of a child, first Christmas after death, grief, grief and the holidays on December 15, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
The first Christmas after the death of a loved one is always hard. Beware of the pitfalls ahead of time. Be bold enough to communicate your needs.
It Hurts When You Sing To My Heavy Heart
Posted in Comforting the Grieving, How To Help, The Early Days, tagged comfort, comforting those who grieve, empty platitudes, grief, Proverbs, Psalms, Scripture that heals on December 4, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
I came across this passage of Scripture today. In fact it was the “Scripture of the Day” on my Facebook profile. When I read it, I could hardly believe it was from the Bible. Where was this verse all these years of grieving? Why was it not one of my Bible verses that was underlined [...]
Please Don’t!
Posted in Comforting the Grieving, How To Help, The Early Days, tagged comfort, comforting a mother who has lost a child, comforting those who grieve, death, death of a child, grief, how to help a grieving family on December 4, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Journal entry from May, 2007 My only advice about what NOT to do is this: Don’t touch anything that belongs to or had anything to do with the one who died. Don’t make up their bed, clean up their bathroom, or wash their clothes. Don’t move pictures (except if they need to be used at [...]
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