On the night of September 24, 2006, after the phone call had come from the hospital in Greensboro, Georgia telling us that our son had been in a car accident, I refused to believe anything REALLY bad could have happened. When my husband suggested, “Maybe the reason Jacob wasn’t transported to the hospital in Athens is because there was nothing more they could do for him,” I screamed back, “STOP IT!” and pulled away from him in horror. With total disbelief I asked him, “Why would you say something like that?”
The hospital wouldn’t tell us his condition and the trooper who called the house had just told me the boys left the accident scene by ambulance “breathing and holding their own.” That my husband would even entertain the idea of Jacob dying was incomprehensible to me.
Why?
Did I think something like that couldn’t happen to him? Did I think such a disaster could not fall upon our family? Did I think God simply would not allow it? Yes. Yes. Yes and No. No. No.
In my mind I always knew disaster could strike my family at any moment, but I never really thought God would stand for it. I had always been so grateful for the gift of a faithful husband and two healthy children who had good minds and made good choices. My husband and I lovingly disciplined them and brought them up to know and appreciate the immense love God has for them. We spent quality time with our children on numerous family vacations and weekend camping trips in our trusty VW Vanagon Camper. We exposed them to other cultures and ways of life. We listened to them and got to know their hearts. They grew up to be joyful, well-adjusted, compassionate and confident people. God needed more kids like them in this world. He certainly wouldn’t take one away.
As twisted as that might be, somewhere in the back of my mind, I honestly thought we were going to be spared from the worst of nightmares. After all, my husband lost his mother at the age of six and I had lived with enough heartache, disappointment and dysfunction to be a guest on Oprah for a week. Hadn’t we endured enough?
The problem is, life is not about equal amounts of suffering being distributed amongst the world’s population. If that were the case, I could expect much more. Compared to the pain and suffering of people in some of the poorest communities around the globe, my life was and continues to be pretty darn comfortable and easy.
The truth is, God never promised anyone an easy life. There is nothing in Scripture that says once we follow God our problems will disappear. In fact, we are told to expect problems. In John 16:33, Jesus clearly says, “In this world you WILL have trouble. (emphasis mine) The rain falls and the sun shines on the wicked as well as the upright. Although it is possible to experience God’s favor while on this earth, it would serve us well to be prepared to experience heartache and disappointment.
So what’s the point? Why live a life for Christ when He isn’t going to stop the pain train from smashing into us? The reason to follow Christ has to do with all of the other things that come with a life in which Jesus is at the center. When we draw near to Him, God draws near to us. God sends us the One who comforts. He gives us peace that is impossible to understand or describe. He gives hope in the midst of hopeless situations. He brings new joy into our lives each and every day. He gives us eyes to see the good in life if that is what we long to see.
Jesus tells us to take heart even though we have troubles in life because He has overcome the world. There is nothing in this world that he cannot help us overcome. That is not to say we will never be faced with life circumstances that are more than we can handle.
There is an often misquoted passage of Scripture about this very topic. People confuse I Corinthians 10:13 to mean that God will never allow us to face trials that are more than we can handle. But that’s NOT what this verse says. It says, “God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” This passage is talking about temptation.
When it comes to despair, that’s a totally different thing. God knows there will be times in life when we simply cannot make it on our own. Paul says in II Corinthians 1:8 & 9 “We do not want you to be uninformed about the hardships we suffered. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.”
God wants us to know that He is there for us when nothing in our world makes sense. When we feel we have no reason to have hope or to keep on living, He is there to pick up the pieces of our broken lives and put them back together again. As Creator, His rightful place is to be the source of our life, and that’s exactly what He promises to be when we have no strength left to live. Remember, He raises the dead.
When my husband and I were told that Jacob had not survived the injuries he sustained in his car accident, I wanted to die. I felt betrayed by God and wanted to scream, “How could you allow this to happen? Why Jacob? Why my family? Why me?” Perhaps the better questions are ones that I should have asked myself, “Why should He have stopped it? Why NOT Jacob? Why NOT me?”
Sure, I have perfectly good answers to those questions I should have asked myself, but they are from my human, finite and earthly perspective. God’s answers are from His holy, infinite and Heavenly perspective, which is all together different. And it’s perfect. That’s still not easy to say or write, but it is true.
Journey Of Grief ~ Journey Of Grace 