This was an entry I placed in a journal back in 2007. Several of those entries will be used here. They capture the “rawness” of my grief-a rawness you might be able to relate to right now. Other writings of mine will reflect the softening of grief that takes place over the years.
June 1, 2007
To say “life has changed,” is the understatement of the decade, but it really hit home today. It’s a Friday afternoon. With my husband at a lunch meeting and my daughter heading out to spend the rest of the day with friends, I was trying to decide what to do. My decision? To go to the cemetery where my son’s ashes are. Weeks have passed since my last visit. That’s when it hit me, “Oh dear Jesus, on June 1st of last year my family was on it’s way to Seattle, Washington for a summer vacation.” We were filled with joyful anticipation. Our family had always enjoyed traveling together, and that trip was going to be our last before Jacob, our 18 year old son, headed off to college. We were cherishing every moment.
Now, just one year later, I am thinking of going to the cemetery where Jacob’s ashes remain. Life can change so much in a year, or even in a moment. Life really has changed. Yes, there is some good to be found in those changes, but mostly it has been very difficult.
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